he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize