angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
