We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
