I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
