with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
