He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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