If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
