I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
