Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
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