did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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