Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
