My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
