It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
