he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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