I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
