Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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