hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
We need to rekindle our bromance
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
how does that bad decision feel?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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