it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
