It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
