Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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