I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
