P.S. I can't hear my feet
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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