Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
