maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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