I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
