found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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