Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
