maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
