So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
