they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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