either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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