i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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