Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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