a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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