Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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