dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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