is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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