i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
