READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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