420 ftw
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
