I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
