I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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