Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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