She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
