im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
