I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
