Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
