How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
