she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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