i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
