I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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