Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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