somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
its liver damage thursday
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
