Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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