i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize