It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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