she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
