so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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