The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
