it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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