Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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