pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
