Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize