his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
