matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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