it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
