This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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