thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
