suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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