youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
