It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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