i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
