i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
They are going to name an STD after you.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
