It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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