She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
